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Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark?

enterprise-autodestruct.jpgI recently came across Something Awful’s list of The 22 Most Awful Moments in Science Fiction. Now, I like me some Something Awful. They bring the funny. But this list is a bit padded, and wanders off into some crazy territory that most SF fans don’t care about. (Seriously, who is bent out of shape that President Reagan’s pie-in-the-sky Strategic Defense Initiative got nicknamed” Star Wars?” Like that is the worst fate to befall the franchise.) So, instead, I’ve trimmed and rearranged the list to my liking, and as your beneficent Geekend dictator, ye shall like it as well. Now, these rants are long, so they’ll each earn their own belabored blog entry. The series starts off with a subject near and dear to my heart:

Q: When did Star Trek jump the shark?

A: Star Trek: First Contact

star_trek_first_contact_ver1.jpgMost Trekkers would count First Contact as the last good Trek movie, and at first blush I’m inclined to agree with them, even if the film rather significantly retconned Zefram Cochrane’s history (He was originally from Alpha Centauri, not Montana) and paved the way for the four-year punch-to-the-brain that was Enterprise.

In the plus column, we had a big screen showdown with the Borg, a new movie-worthy starship Enterprise, actual gunfights, Worf back with his real crew, and even a little rock & roll, all set on some their-past-our-future Earth. It was like all five of the good ideas from the entire NextGen era of Trek fan fiction made their way into one really decent script.

But then there was the Borg Queen, and that ruined everything.

borgqueen1.jpgThe Borg were originally defined as genderless, faceless, nameless, all-consuming man-machine hybrids with which you could not negotiate, could not overpower, and only by sheer luck and creative individuality could you ever hope to defeat–temporarily. That is until First Contact, for which the producers needed a conventional villain for the “dumb audience,” so we get Alice Krige gothed up in H.R. Giger fetish gear going all creepy-vampy on Data and retconning Locutus of Borg from a terrifying perversion of our beloved Captain Picard into a spurned cyborg concubine that Miss Borgy needed to acquire some V’ger-esque spark of humanity.

The Borg Queen single-handedly diminished the Borg from a personification of everyone’s secret fear of the dehumanizing power of technology and conformity run amok into two-bit techno-zombie henchmen of everyone’s un-fondly remembered codependent ex-girlfriend. (It’s worth noting that in First Contact, the Borg assimilate you vampire-bite style, rather than through the slow, tortuous process seen in “The Best of Both Worlds.” These are B-movie monsters now, not powerfully terrifying metaphors for identity-stripping monoculture.)

jeriryan.jpgBy the time Voyager comes along, the uber-scary Borg are getting pwned by giant preying mantis aliens, outwitted on a weekly basis, and then eventually domesticated into vapid plot-device-sprouting eye candy in the form of Seven of Nine. The Borg aren’t a force of nature anymore, they’re cube-dwelling morons working for an easily duped pasty-faced dictator who has devolved into unknowing self-parody. In other words, the Borg are Dunder-Mifflin, minus Jim and Pam.

Thus, the Star Trek jumped the shark with First Contact, and everything that followed–Voyager’s second through seventh seasons, the complete series of Enterprise, to say nothing of Star Trek: Insurrection and Nemesis–has been an exercise in rapidly diminishing returns. Maybe J. J. Abrams can turn Star Trek around, but to do so he’s resorting to a near-reboot of the entire franchise. Sadly, it’s probably come to that.

Anybody care to disagree?

Jay GarmonJay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger -- amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can also follow him on his personal blog or via his Twitter feed.

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nailed it as always... Locrian_Lyric | 11/14/07
Q as Coyote Palmetto | 11/14/07
Q as Queyote landen99@... | 05/22/09
I always saw Q as Starfleet inverted Jay GarmonTechrepublic Moderator | 11/14/07
Piffle. Q was more like Doctor Who... HypnoToad72 | 11/14/07
Ducking .... :) TG2 | 11/16/07
Q similar to The Doctor... RayJeff | 11/23/08
I am a fan of trickster myths. Q was a classic trickster. Locrian_Lyric | 11/15/07
Q = Loki! cgaston6@... | 11/16/07
Q = Loki = Coyote RKG | 11/16/07
Loki is a very good analogy MichaelSawyer1969@... | 05/22/09
I agree zaferus | 11/16/07
My favorite exchange with Q: Locrian_Lyric | 11/16/07
another Q/Worf exchange: Absolutely | 11/17/07
Too many big words mad tabby | 11/19/07
BZZZZZZZZZZZT, wrong, but thanks for playing Locrian_Lyric | 11/20/07
Can you say Xenophobe? JamesRL | 11/20/07
Ti.t for Tat James, Ti.t for Tat. Locrian_Lyric | 11/21/07
Thats how you show love? JamesRL | 11/21/07
Point taken James. But I do love you guys... minus tabby Locrian_Lyric | 11/21/07
Too many words. Absolutely | 11/27/07
Hahahaaahahaha preshere | 11/27/07
Hehe MichaelSawyer1969@... | 05/22/09
I disagree coopert@... | 11/14/07
I Concur preshere | 11/16/07
The time travel travesty profpaul3d | 11/17/07
Not completely off the mark IT Security Guy | 11/19/07
Enterprise - doomed prequel n4aof@... | 11/20/07
American English? ascott@... | 11/16/07
You guys won't speak "true English" nighthawk808 | 11/16/07
Let me say this about that! djamieson@... | 11/16/07
Great! nighthawk808 | 11/18/07
Nice job of not answering the question. Palmetto | 11/16/07
I hate to point this out, nighthawk808 | 11/18/07
retcon == retroactive continuity ralphclark | 11/18/07
Ahh, but a hood is an attachment to a cape - Deadly Ernest | 11/16/07
Retcon has been around for decades bhughes923 | 11/16/07
Oops. bhughes923 | 11/16/07
Thanks Fablanta | 11/16/07
What's you favourite retcon? Fablanta | 11/16/07
seems I was right ascott@... | 11/16/07
Assumptions c.shane.bumpurs@... | 11/16/07
That's one in a row, can you handle all the success. Locrian_Lyric | 11/16/07
I Tac Afens BlackDiamond | 11/16/07
The worst mauling of the English language alaniane@... | 11/16/07
Yeah, well, if you guys could fight nighthawk808 | 11/18/07
Nightawke, I suggest you read a little more history Deadly Ernest | 11/19/07
@DE JCitizen | 11/20/07
J Citizen, I'm aware of much of what you say Deadly Ernest | 11/20/07
DE, you've been around TR long enough to know nighthawk808 | 11/20/07
Retconning Has Been Around for Millennia techrepublic@... | 11/17/07
So, some lazy people have been using it for some Deadly Ernest | 11/17/07
Yes. Jargon is not English. seanferd | 11/17/07
Please site examples Ralph S. | 11/18/07
Site examples? Becca Alice | 11/20/07
Ahh, but originally the sheet metal covered the sides too. Palmetto | 11/16/07
Actually, that was only true for a couple of decades Deadly Ernest | 11/17/07
Actually, that was only true for a couple of decades Deadly Ernest | 11/17/07
Nice try DigitalFrog | 11/16/07
The English language is the bastard son of the German language Locrian_Lyric | 11/16/07
Actually, only a small percentage is from German Deadly Ernest | 11/17/07
I'd pay to study the anthropology/ history of language... JCitizen | 11/17/07
JCitizen: I did. nighthawk808 | 11/18/07
@ nighthawk.. JCitizen | 11/19/07
Actually, my friend, a hood sits right on top and Deadly Ernest | 11/17/07
The automobile was not invented in the U.S., either (nt) seanferd | 11/17/07
Actually wasn't da Vinci credited with the first auto design? JCitizen | 11/17/07
First practical car/ intoinal cumbuschin seanferd | 11/18/07
Yah! Ist vas Rudolph Diesel who provided the design.. JCitizen | 11/20/07
Interestingly, the very first steam cars predate Deadly Ernest | 11/20/07
You got me going again DE!!! JCitizen | 11/20/07
Check the original dictionary. Antagonist | 11/16/07
yeah, it took modern Americans to delete a word Deadly Ernest | 11/17/07
What's another word for "cigarette"? nighthawk808 | 11/18/07
The word for a cigarette you're looking for is f a g Deadly Ernest | 11/18/07
See also "boot" :) (nt) seanferd | 11/17/07
Actually, calling the receptical at the rear a boot Deadly Ernest | 11/18/07
Yes, it does seanferd | 11/18/07
the question of fuel names is very interesting. Deadly Ernest | 11/19/07
so... seanferd | 11/19/07
What's the English word for common usage? Bloggr44 | 05/22/09
Can anyone find the origin of the term "lorrie" laura.walker@... | 05/26/09
Funny you mention Pringles and crisps JamesRL | 05/26/09
Hey, easy now... Your Mom 2.0 | 11/16/07
HA HA HA! Antagonist | 11/16/07
To paraphrase Will Rogers nighthawk808 | 11/18/07
3 hooyas for Tennessee libertate@... | 11/16/07
There is NO country the US hasn't helped? nighthawk808 | 11/18/07
Shame on you Nighthawk pegarner@... | 11/18/07
Stop patting yourself on the back. nighthawk808 | 11/18/07
Yeah like Viet Nam ascott@... | 11/21/07
My Sergeant in the army used to call me a "damn yankee"... JCitizen | 11/17/07
You don't have to like it. nighthawk808 | 11/18/07
I am ashamed that your from Kentucky or call yourself a veteran. bullfish@... | 11/19/07
a very small group of uneducated people n4aof@... | 11/20/07
Profile of a typical phoney soldier. Locrian_Lyric | 11/20/07
Dawg tore into the last self-proclaimed serviceman jdclyde | 11/20/07
Spoken like a true Texan. nighthawk808 | 11/20/07
Dawg?! Are you kidding? nighthawk808 | 11/20/07
Beetle Bailey is running off at the mouth again. Locrian_Lyric | 11/20/07
I don't need to fool anyone, Loc. nighthawk808 | 11/20/07
DD214 from the nasty guard........ Gotta love it. bullfish@... | 11/21/07
Cheese-eating? blackburne | 11/16/07
I've never heard "cheese eater" applied exclusively to the French. Palmetto | 11/16/07
How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris? iggy186 | 11/23/07
Not unusual claim... JCitizen | 11/24/07
yeah... Antagonist | 11/16/07
there are no colonies. The sun has set on the empire. Locrian_Lyric | 11/16/07
I had to put that in. nighthawk808 | 11/18/07
900 million Indians zclayton2 | 11/19/07
Mental Colony - Ohio Aboyaram | 11/21/07
DS9 was the jump point for me djamieson@... | 11/16/07
I agree c.shane.bumpurs@... | 11/16/07
DS9 was better when.... Red_One | 11/16/07
TVGuide's Best episode of Star Trek was from DS9 michael.howell@... | 11/16/07
Geez, even better than "Yesterday's Enterprise"? Palmetto | 11/16/07
"Shore Leave" - Original Series Inkling | 11/16/07
Original series? "Devil in the Dark" Palmetto | 11/16/07
A good episode of NG, to be sure...but *spoiler* michael.howell@... | 11/16/07
Tony Todd should have won an Emmy for that performance Locrian_Lyric | 11/16/07
The Inner Light c.shane.bumpurs@... | 11/16/07
Yesssss!! pat@... | 11/16/07
One Good... scorp5880@... | 11/16/07
Once you've had fried Spam, Palmetto | 11/16/07
I can... scorp5880@... | 11/16/07
turn it around rookangelofmercy@... | 11/17/07
Second that as the best DougOfCBSTechrepublic Moderator | 11/20/07
YES! FINALLY Antagonist | 11/16/07
Deep Six Nine davidemcmurray@... | 11/16/07
DS9 had wonderful potential profpaul3d | 11/17/07
I completely disagree roykirk@... | 05/23/09
Black Vulcans whutsky@... | 05/26/09
UPN the root of all evil cgbolton1@... | 11/16/07
Sorry, I did not gather such strong emotions to ST shows, but I do have an DadsPad | 11/16/07
I used to be a real Trekkie. Inkling | 11/16/07
Star Trek is dead? What a joke. Antagonist | 11/16/07
That's why it's dead, it's become a joke. Locrian_Lyric | 11/16/07
I honestly hope you're right... Inkling | 11/16/07
Talk about retcon profpaul3d | 11/17/07
The big problem with new writers jdclyde | 11/16/07
Seeing beyond the tight outfit libertate@... | 11/16/07
The tight outfit was a given... tagullett@... | 11/17/07
I'm Insulted rkendsley | 11/16/07
My Two Cents....and then some kaptandrews | 11/16/07
HOLY COW! ***- NERD ALERT-*** mmcguire@... | 11/16/07
"a stupid Sci-Fi show" Palmetto | 11/16/07
Dancing on dreams jdclyde | 11/16/07
OOOO!!! OOOOO!!! I KNOW THE ANSWER!!!! Locrian_Lyric | 11/19/07
My, such language! Palmetto | 11/19/07
You forgot seanferd | 11/20/07
Incurable Idiots that Disparage Science Fiction joeller | 11/19/07
No soup for you! OnTheRopes | 11/16/07
I'm married and have a newborn baby girl Locrian_Lyric | 11/19/07
Star Trek didn't just jump the shark tommy higbee | 11/16/07
Out of a mans mind came Star Trek! bobhill9@... | 11/16/07
...and two security guards. seanferd | 11/16/07
Star trek technology? maggie5150@... | 11/17/07
The later iterations seanferd | 11/17/07
Live Long and Prosper...nano-nano :_| HCream | 11/19/07
Star Trek New Voyages Rocks ckasper@... | 12/04/07
StarDrek macbill | 05/22/09
Reboot Successful Franchise Revitalized! amendez@... | 05/22/09
Second best Star Trek Movie dukethepcdr@... | 05/22/09
Star Trek keeps loosing vision landen99@... | 05/22/09
STAR TREK MISSED THE MARK AGAIN! stoprambling@... | 05/23/09
Talk about hopscotching the shark - Wesley Crusher jdickey | 06/20/09
Troll Alert! JackOfAllTech | 06/20/09
Can't argue when you're right. Palmetto | 11/14/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? John Sheesley - TechRepublic ProTechrepublic Moderator | 11/14/07
3rd season DS9 Palmetto | 11/14/07
DS9 - WAR is fun coopert@... | 11/14/07
Quark did not have a son! Buglady | 11/16/07
"In the Pale Moonlight" - an easy favorite michael.howell@... | 11/16/07
Agreed roykirk@... | 11/16/07
DS9 Sucked Antagonist | 11/16/07
DS9sure did suck a35julian@... | 11/16/07
Fair point Jay GarmonTechrepublic Moderator | 11/14/07
DS9 was "Trek Noir" Palmetto | 11/14/07
Bajor: Terok Nor lesward463@... | 11/15/07
DS9=B5 JamesRL | 11/15/07
I tend to believe it Locrian_Lyric | 11/15/07
I agree Buglady | 11/16/07
Two Words.... hellfire@... | 11/16/07
Restoring Star Trek tagullett@... | 11/17/07
Isn't that essentially what happened? John Sheesley - TechRepublic ProTechrepublic Moderator | 11/19/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? grey.haven@... | 11/15/07
I hope you are being sarcastic Locrian_Lyric | 11/15/07
Right on! Antagonist | 11/16/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? sfox@... | 11/16/07
Uh, Ellison only wrote one episode Palmetto | 11/16/07
outer space drug supply droidhorse | 11/16/07
Yeah, see Ellison's seanferd | 11/16/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? yvthorre | 11/16/07
The new Battlestar Galactica is only good if you Deadly Ernest | 11/16/07
Not Necessarily So. joeller | 11/16/07
My buddy is a literature nut; and constantly complaining... JCitizen | 11/17/07
I understand the concept of artistic licence, but Deadly Ernest | 11/18/07
I suppose they use the original title seanferd | 11/19/07
Fight Club skinfreak@... | 11/20/07
Uh, Thank the Gods They Changed It Grolan | 11/16/07
new battlestar droidhorse | 11/16/07
Disagree! yvthorre | 11/16/07
Hey, where does General Hospital type deepening Deadly Ernest | 11/18/07
More than one storyline yvthorre | 11/18/07
A series is a group of stories that stand alone but Deadly Ernest | 11/19/07
Then you don't like B5 or DS-9 or Enterprise either? joeller | 11/19/07
I Agree with your Disagreement CaptMorgan | 12/28/07
I wouldn't say superior Antagonist | 11/16/07
You're not a geek, and shouldn't call yourself one lrdcemb@... | 11/16/07
Don't be too rough on him... mstevens@... | 11/16/07
You tell em! Antagonist | 11/16/07
Utter tripe - go watch something else if you don't like it quails | 11/16/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? ArseneLupin | 11/16/07
Or, perhaps seanferd | 11/16/07
Star Trek may not have jumped the shark, Deadly Ernest | 11/16/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? LYosko1903@... | 11/16/07
Star Trek the Motion Picture info@... | 11/16/07
Hey ascott, this is retconning. Palmetto | 11/16/07
Not so joeller | 11/21/07
"We do not speak of it" (NT) seanferd | 11/16/07
Nah, it's all good. pwright2@... | 11/16/07
I liked Enterprise - never watched DS9 or Voyager r.napier@... | 11/16/07
I want to add... r.napier@... | 11/16/07
Star Trek has always had problems... GrizzledGeezer | 11/16/07
"The City of the Edge of Forever" r.napier@... | 11/16/07
Edge of Forever = Edge of Night rpolunsky@... | 11/16/07
Yeah, probably the first worthwhile time travel story on TV. Palmetto | 11/16/07
Could it be considered so great because... Roc Riz | 11/16/07
Perhaps, but... GrizzledGeezer | 11/20/07
The role of women in the franchise r.napier@... | 11/16/07
Ummm.... Antagonist | 11/16/07
In the original pilot seanferd | 11/16/07
I'd forgotten that. Palmetto | 11/16/07
You are most probably correct! (nt) seanferd | 11/17/07
Paramount to Roddenberry... Ditch the guy with the ears Locrian_Lyric | 11/19/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? ang2006 | 11/16/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? Dilberter | 11/16/07
The Klingons became interesting after Roddenberry died johne@... | 11/16/07
Your both wrong joeller | 11/21/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? ruth@... | 11/16/07
Zefram Cochrane chris.overstreet@... | 11/16/07
Oh Lordy, I'm a Trekkie michael.howell@... | 11/16/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? fbrentwood | 11/16/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? galraen@... | 11/16/07
Enterprise was the nail in the coffin for me Lfraz | 11/16/07
All the way back in ST3/4 (movies) bwebster@... | 11/16/07
How many times has it jumped the shark before? aiforbes@... | 11/16/07
Seven of Nine GNX | 11/16/07
You mean "Two of 44D", right? Locrian_Lyric | 11/16/07
Seven of Nine iggy186 | 11/23/07
That's too bad rkendsley | 11/27/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? darealnic | 11/16/07
I am so sick and tired... Antagonist | 11/16/07
Damn right Palmetto | 11/16/07
LOL Antagonist | 11/16/07
You're tired of people bashing Voyager, Palmetto | 11/16/07
Voyager was a dog of a show. Locrian_Lyric | 11/16/07
A Really Nice Intro tagullett@... | 11/17/07
Voyager was the reciprocal of Trek. techrepublic@... | 11/18/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? jkienzle | 11/16/07
Three words... alieninvader@... | 11/16/07
Rumors of Star Trek's death e.macdonald@... | 11/16/07
Season-long stories Palmetto | 11/16/07
what drove me mad regarding voyager was... Locrian_Lyric | 11/16/07
Sue Ellen looked in the shower and there was Bobby. Palmetto | 11/16/07
A whole season-long arc wiped out? When? Porgery | 11/16/07
Well, okay, I exaggerated. Palmetto | 11/16/07
Twin Peaks? alieninvader@... | 11/16/07
RE: Shuttle Bay Security and "Barbie Doll" Borgs Process Analyst | 11/16/07
New Movie seanferd | 11/16/07
Harlan stays P.O'ed Palmetto | 11/16/07
Yup, sure seems that way. seanferd | 11/16/07
Legally he's usually right. Palmetto | 11/16/07
The only difference between Harlan Ellison and Ray Bradbury... GrizzledGeezer | 11/20/07
BRING STAR TREK BACK---AGAIN--- BALTHOR | 11/16/07
Series One, Episode One jbb1@... | 11/16/07
Live long and prosper, jbb1 of Framingham. Palmetto | 11/16/07
Anyone who compares "Doctor Who" to "Star Trek"... GrizzledGeezer | 12/29/07
One Movie Too Late levelwraith@... | 11/16/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? vsok2@... | 11/16/07
RE: Sci-fi rant:Too many who try to dissect a good series 30bob1 | 11/16/07
The Mighty Dollar jefftucker@... | 11/17/07
I agree but... Fr0stb1t3 | 11/17/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? smjr1920 | 11/18/07
Nimoy and Shatner, classic TV adrians@... | 11/18/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? Ralph S. | 11/18/07
You missed the point. sdcphoneguy | 11/18/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? hran/tech | 11/18/07
Insurrection - cinematography, sound, score, visuals Palmetto | 11/19/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? vrnair@... | 11/19/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? artoftransformation@... | 11/20/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? artoftransformation@... | 11/20/07
About the Borg. purpleboy53 | 11/20/07
When Paramount started milking it's cash cow RAnthony | 12/19/07
Re:Not entirely True russ_it@... | 12/28/07
RE: Sci-fi rant: When did Star Trek jump the shark? tbostwick@... | 05/22/09
A Good Story Will Save The Day 1001001001 | 05/22/09
Two words...Wesley Crusher HavaCigar | 09/18/09

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