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The geek movies you're embarrassed you like

On the heels of my buddy BFilmFan suggesting the worst sci-fi TV shows ever – and for having the guts to call out Enterprise, which is a Geekend tradition – I came across this list of guilty pleasure sci-fi movies. You know, the films you know are terrible but watch anyway, hoping no one finds out. (Thanks, SF Signal.) Over at io9, they list the 20 Best-Worst sci-fi movies ever. You may also recall we noted the 10 worst comic book movies ever back in the day.

Well, here’s my list of guilty pleasures that, while not good movies, I somehow end up watching all the way through whenever I surf past them on cable.

  1. Real Genius: Val Kilmer’s best role this side of Tombstone, he plays wunderkind physics undergrad Chris Knight, who squares off against his unscrupulous professor, who in turn tries to dupe Kilmer and his buddies into building a weapon of mass destruction. This is the movie that The Big Bang Theory tries to be and fails. It includes probably the greatest use of popcorn ever put to film, with a 1980s soundtrack that is just too awesome to miss.
  2. Big Trouble in Little China: John Carpenter’s greatest schlockfest, combining all the best-worst pulp elements of Chinese chop-socky films, low-rent pop fantasy, and 1980s action flicks. Truly, this is Kurt Russell’s finest performance as Jack “Porkchop Express” Burton. Russell teams up with his buddy Wang to defeat undead Chinatown gangster-slash-sorcerer Lo Pan, who has kidnapped their girlfriends in order to marry and kill them. Watch it, and then crave your own “six demon bag.”
  3. Superman II: This is either the greatest superhero movie ever made or the worst (and probably both). This film graced us with the arch-camp villain General Zod and his Kryptonian cohorts Ursa and Non, which led to perhaps the most awesome superhero throwdown in the history of cinema. Unfortunately, this is also the flick that saw Supes try to defeat one of the villains with a giant plastic version of his chest-symbol. Thus, the so-bad-it’s-awesome place on this list.
  4. Crossworlds: A really horrible low-budget fantasy-action-adventure-trainwreck starring Rutger Hauer and Josh Charles as dimension-hopping freedom fighters trying to stop a mystical corporate overlord form conquering the universe. It’s got swordfights, midget enforcers, and a magic crystal wizard staff that is never really explained. Utter awesome.
  5. Killer Klowns from Outer Space: You may be shocked to learn this, but clowns aren’t accidentally creepy, they’re intentionally creepy because they mimic the horrible smiles of alien invaders that occasionally return to Earth to feed upon the flesh of humanity. Their spaceships look like big tops, their flesh-harvesting cocoons look like cotton candy, and their popcorn guns breed carnivorous jack-in-the-box monsters. And don’t even ask about the brutal inspiration for ventriloquist dummies. A failure too grand to be missed.

Got your own list of favorite awful-yet-awesome movies? Share ‘em in the comments section. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

Jay GarmonJay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger -- amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can also follow him on his personal blog or via his Twitter feed.

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The geek movies you're embarrassed you like larry@... | 10/08/08
Oh yeah, Krull! Jay GarmonTechrepublic Moderator | 10/08/08
Son of Irwin Allen Productions BFilmFan | 10/08/08
Krull had good music though... fudgepop@... | 12/26/08
The geek movies you're embarrassed you like bholland05@... | 10/08/08
What about Inner Space? larry@... | 10/08/08
RE: What about Inner Space? Tink! | 10/08/08
Short Circuit... JamesRL | 10/08/08
RE: How about some more 1980's movies. Tink! | 10/08/08
Why would I be embarressed to have seen Short Circuit? Palmetto | 10/08/08
or 90s TonytheTiger | 10/09/08
You Missed... Hesael | 10/08/08
The Last Starfighter! larry@... | 10/08/08
Great Sci Fi Death Scenes BFilmFan | 10/08/08
RE: Great Sci Fi Death Scenes Tink! | 10/08/08
To bad the real battle sucked jdclyde | 10/10/08
Saturn 5...(I think that was its name....) kehill50@... | 10/21/08
RE: and many many more 80 movies! Tink! | 10/08/08
Why would I be embarressed to have like "The Goonies"? Palmetto | 10/08/08
Hey! Slvrknght | 10/13/08
Oh yea Explorers! Tink! | 10/13/08
Ice Pirates GSG | 10/08/08
No not Space Herpies! larry@... | 10/08/08
Ice Pirates. boxfiddler | 10/08/08
Love this movie sparker@... | 10/10/08
What was the Disney movie? larry@... | 10/08/08
Yes BFilmFan | 10/08/08
And the only Disney movie TiggerTwo | 10/08/08
Don't forget the Japanese release of it BrainiacVI | 12/26/08
Silent Running linux for me | 10/08/08
Silent Running bmungen@... | 10/10/08
Silent Running Ed Woychowsky | 10/21/08
Don't forget the wonderful soundtrack BrainiacVI | 12/26/08
Tron & more spin2nz | 10/10/08
Body Sntatchers??? Palmetto | 10/13/08
Silent Running setantapc@... | 10/11/08
Maybe Ed Woychowsky | 10/21/08
Blade Runner, Outland, and Time Bandits Too! larry@... | 10/08/08
Yes, ? and Yes Tink! | 10/08/08
Outland SObaldrick | 10/10/08
One Word Zordoz ptjack | 10/13/08
Zordoz SObaldrick | 10/14/08
Is Time Bandits... NotSoChiGuy | 10/08/08
Thats the one... Jellimonsta | 10/08/08
I only have vague memories of the film.... NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
Oh Yeah.....!!! kehill50@... | 10/09/08
Not Blade Runner rscarlat@... | 10/10/08
You should check out the book it's even better maldain | 12/26/08
Duh.."Awful yet Awesome"...hello! modacarchick@... | 12/27/08
How could you leave out jdclyde | 10/10/08
I can't believe no one has mentioned the movie nfhiggs@... | 10/10/08
It has, in fact, boxfiddler | 10/10/08
LOL nfhiggs@... | 10/10/08
I think we're having a field day in this one. :D boxfiddler | 10/10/08
secret yearning for Barbarella george.welcher@... | 01/02/09
Minority Report w2ktechman | 10/11/08
Let's add boxfiddler | 10/08/08
Demo man was awesome! eclypse | 12/26/08
Replace sheashells with corn cobs BrainiacVI | 12/26/08
Good adds Tink! | 10/08/08
Getting fantasy-ish... boxfiddler | 10/08/08
Good call! Forum Surfer | 10/09/08
:) Tink! | 10/08/08
"Would you like to play a game?" bags4440 | 10/09/08
War Games! coreyinkato | 10/10/08
Great line... lgs@... | 10/22/08
Stephen King's short story 'Battleground' ... OldER Mycroft | 10/09/08
Any film with Matthew Broderick - LadyHawke victor.gutzler@... | 10/10/08
I hate to nerd out on this... Slvrknght | 10/21/08
I must be the quintessential nerd then Dr_Zinj | 12/29/08
Any film with Matthew Broderick - LadyHawke victor.gutzler@... | 10/10/08
My adds & why ... KevinSGreen | 10/10/08
Mars Attacks. boxfiddler | 10/10/08
Event Horizon scared the hell out of me! eclypse | 12/26/08
Millennium steve@... | 10/10/08
I liked Millennium eclypse | 12/26/08
We've left out boxfiddler | 10/10/08
OMG Boxie Tink! | 10/10/08
Rowdy Roddy Piper. boxfiddler | 10/10/08
How about jdclyde | 10/10/08
Best line ever - nfhiggs@... | 10/10/08
'They' wanted us to leave it out.... NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
They run Goldman-Sa.... Locrian_Lyric | 10/13/08
HA!!! NotSoChiGuy | 10/21/08
Does anyone remember boxfiddler | 10/10/08
yepper critch | 11/20/09
Another movie I can't remember the name of... boxfiddler | 10/10/08
I remember it jdclyde | 10/10/08
Sounds familiar.. nfhiggs@... | 10/10/08
Yeah, the one I'm thinking is a wrestler boxfiddler | 10/10/08
Hmmm garyq@... | 11/21/09
I come in Peace setantapc@... | 10/11/08
Oh excellent! Thank you. boxfiddler | 10/11/08
But you leave in pieces.... NotSoChiGuy | 10/21/08
We come in peace BrainiacVI | 12/26/08
Michael Moorcock's SObaldrick | 10/11/08
I haven't seen mention yet boxfiddler | 10/11/08
A few more entries dtecmeister@... | 10/13/08
Ooh, ooh! boxfiddler | 10/13/08
Movies to stay up late for TWB2 | 10/15/08
RoboCop?? geek-chick@... | 10/21/08
The 10th Victim Ed Woychowsky | 10/21/08
Another one lgs@... | 10/22/08
Hackers. Of course. don.childers@... | 10/30/08
The geek movies you're embarrassed you like ol55denz@... | 12/26/08
Noone has mentioned these yet... Zlosk | 12/26/08
Dark Star gerry27@... | 12/26/08
I can't believe no one mentioned Solarbabies eclypse | 12/26/08
STARDUST Beilstwh | 12/26/08
Geek - Chick-Flick teamdave | 12/27/08
Another title for consideration... mcooper11551@... | 12/28/08
Robin Hood Men in Tights jprice@... | 01/05/09
RE: The geek movies you're embarrassed you like pacwp@... | 10/08/08
Real Genius was a great movie! larry@... | 10/08/08
Deborah Foreman.. maecuff | 10/08/08
Ya! larry@... | 10/08/08
That has to be the best line ever spoken TiggerTwo | 10/08/08
Nah, the best line ever spoken is Palmetto | 10/08/08
I'm gonna go with maecuff | 10/09/08
"Are you feeling lucky, punk?" NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
Yes it was! eclypse | 12/26/08
Be Excellent to Each Other GSG | 10/08/08
Bogus! BFilmFan | 10/08/08
B & T larry@... | 10/08/08
Zardoz Phil N DeBlanc | 10/08/08
Now that one is a trip. boxfiddler | 10/08/08
Any Old... Phil N DeBlanc | 10/08/08
That reminds of BrainiacVI | 12/26/08
RE: The geek movies you're embarrassed you like tukotk421_99@... | 10/08/08
RE: The geek movies you're embarrassed you like cupcake@... | 10/08/08
Wow a chick flick? larry@... | 10/08/08
Yea! cupcake@... | 10/08/08
Hmmm....chick flick Jay GarmonTechrepublic Moderator | 10/08/08
Ella Enchanted Montgomery Gator | 10/09/08
That was horrible! zgozvrm | 10/10/08
Definitely Love Big Trouble Tink! | 10/08/08
Agreed JamesRL | 10/08/08
Favorite Line chris@... | 10/10/08
watched this not too long ago... radicalspud | 10/10/08
it was Kim Cattrall eclypse | 12/26/08
Here's about the only two I can say I like.... NotSoChiGuy | 10/08/08
Don't know whether or not boxfiddler | 10/08/08
Yes, it is NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
I think we've visited Bale before. boxfiddler | 10/09/08
I think we have! NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
oooh. I loved Equilibrium Tink! | 10/09/08
I was skeptical BrainiacVI | 12/26/08
If you like Bale have you seen Tink! | 10/09/08
That was hard to watch... NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
another Bale movie that I liked eclypse | 12/26/08
Bein's how I like Christian Bale boxfiddler | 10/09/08
Not Widely Seen BFilmFan | 10/10/08
Haven't seen either. boxfiddler | 10/10/08
Not Big on Movies BFilmFan | 10/10/08
:D Definitely did not see Babe. boxfiddler | 10/10/08
aww Boxie Tink! | 10/10/08
Babe, Thumbs up, Babe Pig in the City thumbs way down JamesRL | 10/10/08
In continuing with the cute factor Tink! | 10/10/08
"Cute" boxfiddler | 10/10/08
Shhh! Tink! | 10/10/08
Thoughts on "Childrens Movies" BFilmFan | 10/11/08
The tao is great Router boy | 10/15/08
Chick Flicks I Like Palmetto | 10/08/08
Oddly enough, Palmie TiggerTwo | 10/09/08
I remember the Friends episode nfhiggs@... | 10/10/08
You forgot ... zgozvrm | 10/10/08
Okay Ed Woychowsky | 10/21/08
Batteries Not Included Tink! | 10/21/08
Wall-E Ed Woychowsky | 10/22/08
That stinks... Slvrknght | 10/23/08
Thanks for Batteries not included, and who sang at the end? Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/23/08
it took a tiny bit of digging but here Tink! | 10/23/08
THANKS TINK!! Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/24/08
Sound Track, Batteries not included Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/25/08
Not ashamed at all BFilmFan | 10/08/08
'Casablanca' is NOT a chick flick. Palmetto | 10/09/08
I'm with Palmetto on that one Jay GarmonTechrepublic Moderator | 10/09/08
Mostly in Agreement BFilmFan | 10/09/08
Hear Hear ! Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/10/08
Right movie, right character, wrong line Palmetto | 10/10/08
Also memorable Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/15/08
Let me guess. Palmetto | 10/21/08
Palmetto is right -see his reply to my previous post Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/23/08
Best line boxfiddler | 10/11/08
A Film I rate up there with Casablanca Tink! | 10/10/08
One of those movies that requires multiple viewings Palmetto | 10/10/08
Small arguement here TiggerTwo | 10/09/08
very true Tig Tink! | 10/09/08
What DO ... want? KevinSGreen | 10/10/08
Tink and Tiggie BFilmFan | 10/10/08
phenomenon Tink! | 10/10/08
I am reminded of nfhiggs@... | 10/10/08
no faux furs eclypse | 12/26/08
Saying Things that DIsturb Women BFilmFan | 10/10/08
The Princess Bride! boxfiddler | 10/09/08
Princess Bride is another fun movie Tink! | 10/09/08
I love the dialogue. boxfiddler | 10/10/08
Wedding Singer???? NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
Sandler Chick Flicks BFilmFan | 10/09/08
Casablanca... boxfiddler | 10/10/08
Suddenly last summer Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/15/08
Ye olde double post OnTheRopes | 10/09/08
Chick flick? That's easy. OnTheRopes | 10/09/08
come on, how about Jaqui | 10/09/08
gender flips Tink! | 10/09/08
Chick flick boxfiddler | 10/10/08
Can Also Be Scary BFilmFan | 10/10/08
Logan's Run boxfiddler | 10/08/08
While not embarrased to like this one boxfiddler | 10/08/08
Logan's Run neilb@... | 10/09/08
You might want to talk to Scummy... boxfiddler | 10/09/08
agreed... radicalspud | 10/10/08
What about Kafka and Brazil?? Tink! | 10/08/08
Someone mentioned Naked Lunch Tink! | 10/09/08
I saw Brazil nfhiggs@... | 10/10/08
Enemy Mine NotSoChiGuy | 10/08/08
Excellent flick. boxfiddler | 10/08/08
Haven't seen it in a while.... NotSoChiGuy | 10/08/08
Geek Film or Chick Flick? cupcake@... | 10/08/08
I put this one... NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
Males carrying babies !?! rscarlat@... | 10/10/08
Junior, anyone? eclypse | 12/26/08
The story catpro-54 | 10/08/08
Haven't read the story. boxfiddler | 10/08/08
Not even BFilmFan | 10/09/08
I know! catpro-54 | 10/09/08
Not just the story larry@... | 10/10/08
WOW! larry@... | 10/10/08
Nothing embarassing here rscarlat@... | 10/10/08
Little clarification... NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
Re: Little clarification... rscarlat@... | 10/10/08
I don't know... NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
No Plan 9? jmgarvin | 10/08/08
Who's embarressed to admit they like 'Plan 9'? Palmetto | 10/08/08
Sure you don't ;-) jmgarvin | 10/08/08
45 bad movies on 4 lists and I've seen only Superman II Palmetto | 10/08/08
Most of the movies I've seen Tink! | 10/09/08
Steven Seagal??? NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
It was me... JamesRL | 10/09/08
oooh eXistenz! Tink! | 10/09/08
Bone/tooth gun.... NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
Glad to know I'm not totally punchy... NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
Well if you want bad chris@... | 10/10/08
Scanners was pretty awesome eclypse | 12/26/08
Does 'Dogma' count??? NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
Yes it counts ..but... Sepius | 10/10/08
Good point... NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
RE: The geek movies you're embarrassed you like peter.j.boyles@... | 10/09/08
geek films s10blade@... | 10/09/08
Huh? Palmetto | 10/09/08
Nothing is safe.... NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
Barbarella, Soylent Green, Solaris ... Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/10/08
LOL!! nfhiggs@... | 10/11/08
Barbarella ... and Modesty Blaise Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/15/08
Great list there! boxfiddler | 10/09/08
Death Race 2000 NotSoChiGuy | 10/09/08
Oh my! larry@... | 10/10/08
I caught Purple Rain... NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
RE: The geek movies you're embarrassed you like lsl@... | 10/10/08
RE: The geek movies you're embarrassed you like - and radio shows? Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/10/08
RE: The geek movies you're embarrassed you like mrmiata7@... | 10/10/08
Dark Crystal anyone Sepius | 10/10/08
Brazil is another Sepius | 10/10/08
No one gets the ending? Tink! | 10/10/08
Ending of Brazil ... nuts (he goes) and what about 1984? Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/15/08
Might have to see this one again ... Sepius | 10/17/08
Saw it, enjoyed it, not embarrassed to admit it. (No text) Palmetto | 10/10/08
I was in my High School Stoner Days bmungen@... | 10/10/08
Love Dark Crystal! Tink! | 10/10/08
Not for me.... NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
Using children as an excuse! Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/15/08
LOL! No excuses necessary Tink! | 10/15/08
Over the children's heads Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/21/08
Big Trouble error mlwaller@... | 10/10/08
Has anyone mentioned... Geezer-In-Training | 10/10/08
Thanks! larry@... | 10/10/08
Any movie with Matthew Broderick - LadyHawke victor.gutzler@... | 10/10/08
Space Camp and Flash Gordon ChrisHyche@... | 10/10/08
Space Camp larry@... | 10/10/08
I still want to go... ChrisHyche@... | 10/10/08
Ooh another one... Transformers ChrisHyche@... | 10/10/08
UGH.... NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
Yeah... ChrisHyche@... | 10/10/08
LadyHawke, Ella Enchanted - SciFi???? theHankster | 10/10/08
LadyHawke, Ella Enchanted - SciFi???? theHankster | 10/10/08
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension theHankster | 10/10/08
Awesome Movie! larry@... | 10/10/08
Awesome Movie! larry@... | 10/10/08
Clerks/Clerks 2 - Since someone mentioned Dogma.. larry@... | 10/10/08
Kevin Smith is not God! JamesRL | 10/10/08
Never said he was God larry@... | 10/10/08
Superman: Baby Daddy Returns NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
Superman needs to be refreshed larry@... | 10/10/08
Agreed... NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
I mentioned God because of the theme of Dogma JamesRL | 10/10/08
Well larry@... | 10/10/08
I'm in Toronto JamesRL | 10/10/08
Since this discussion has mutated Tink! | 10/10/08
Kolchak The Night Stalker Movies cyberrider1 | 10/10/08
This list sucks. I guess you are geeks! ipardini@... | 10/10/08
so, what if I'm NOT embarrassed? chris@... | 10/10/08
No need to be in the closet larry@... | 10/10/08
Freehold! Tink! | 10/10/08
Home of The Boss larry@... | 10/10/08
Super geeky? Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/15/08
David Lynch's DUNE rscarlat@... | 10/10/08
No, not embarrasment more like disappointment? larry@... | 10/10/08
Indeed rscarlat@... | 10/10/08
Only if you haven't read the book. Palmetto | 10/10/08
Liking DUNE if one's read the book? Nicholas.Newman@... | 10/15/08
Waterworld and Conan the Barbarian rscarlat@... | 10/10/08
If you like Conan, Tink! | 10/10/08
:) rscarlat@... | 10/10/08
Jeez...you're right NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
I'll watch the new Red Sonja Tink! | 10/10/08
Ever see 'The Craft' NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
Earth Girls are Easy NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
Freejack NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
The Arrival NotSoChiGuy | 10/10/08
The Black Hole yobkadon@... | 10/11/08
My Humble List Slvrknght | 10/13/08
Does anyone remember... AllyRose | 10/13/08
Explorers....!!!!!!!! kehill50@... | 10/16/08
It is... Slvrknght | 10/16/08
Buckaroo Banzai? NickNielsen | 10/20/08
Heheh Slvrknght | 10/21/08
:D NickNielsen | 10/21/08
The Abyss boxfiddler | 10/16/08
The Happening SObaldrick | 10/16/08
Argh, don't remind me NotSoChiGuy | 10/16/08
We do tend boxfiddler | 10/20/08
I can't believe nobody has mentioned Rollerball yet NickNielsen | 10/20/08
You know, I've seen that. boxfiddler | 10/20/08
Like I said NickNielsen | 10/21/08
When I was a snotty teenager Palmetto | 10/21/08
Actually, I'd like to see that again Tink! | 10/21/08
Given the way this thread has strayed boxfiddler | 10/21/08
RE: The geek movies you're embarrassed you like Denise T | 10/22/08
Buckaroo Banzail and Zardoz - Both bad and campy John.Martin@... | 12/26/08
Hackensack! larry@... | 12/30/08
Colossus Michael.Slifer@... | 12/27/08
One of my favorites george.welcher@... | 01/02/09
in a similar vein george.welcher@... | 01/02/09
What? Can't believe this was missed... merddyin@... | 12/27/08
A Boy and His Dog Nil Po | 12/29/08
RE: The geek movies you're embarrassed you like GiMMeABreak | 12/30/08
Barb Wire george.welcher@... | 01/02/09
Saturn 5 trhodes@... | 01/12/09

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